“My life would be different now, if I would not have tried it”

 “It started out as an addiction to alcohol that we used before going out, it made me feel lightheaded, more creative, more relaxed. I loved it” says Chloe*.

by Viktorija Getneryte

All students try certain types of addictive substances during their time in University/College. It can be one guilty cigarette, a pint of beer, glass of wine, shot of tequila or a “joint”. To one girl, the fun nights out turned to long days of fighting with herself and her addiction.

“It all started in my last year of University. Well, I have always liked alcohol, especially red wine and an occasional joint of marijuana. I got this habit from a year abroad, you would not believe how many people smoke weed in France.”, laughs Chloe, “But last year in university is unbearably stressful, and I let myself have more joints then I should have. It was definitely a social thing in the beginning, but after a while I found myself wanting to do it when I was alone, I guess it was a first alarming sign for me to stop, but I did my research and there was a lot of scientific articles that said marijuana is not addictive, so I did not try to stop”.

The time went by and Chloe found herself not being able to do everyday tasks without feeling the effect of a drug: “After a while of using heavily I could not live with thoughts that came to me while I was sober. I felt that I am lazy, I am losing my friends, my job, I could not keep up with studies… But after smoking, all the problems and paranoia was gone. And I needed that feeling”.

Eventually she started to borrow money from friends and family, saying that she needed it for food, when in reality it was to feed her addiction. However, with the help of her friends and family, things started to change soon. “I came to a point in my life where a drug was controlling me. I lost my job, I could not afford to buy more, so I started borrowing money. But soon my friends got really concerned about my health, as I started to become psychotic." Chloe explains. "They contacted my parents and university doctors and I was put in a rehabilitation hospital. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. My addiction almost cost me my life, but I was able to stand up and get my diploma, to start writing again. However, I will always have to fight myself not to go back and I will never be able to gain back a complete trust from my parents. My life would be different now, if I would not have tried weed.”

Drug abuse is really common, and a “light” drug as marijuana is definitely not considered “dangerous” amongst students. However, everything and anything used without consideration and moderation can be harmful. Studies in Australia in 2008 linked years of heavy marijuana use to brain abnormalities.  This is backed up by earlier research on the long-term effects of marijuana, which indicate changes in the brain similar to those caused by long-term abuse of other major drugs. A number of studies have also shown a connection between continued marijuana use and psychosis so maybe marijuana is not the best answer for your problems, after all. 

*The names in the story have been changed to protect the person's identity.