How a girl’s pregnancy ruined her relationship with her parents

How a girl’s pregnancy ruined her relationship with her parents

A story about a South Asian girl and her broken relationship with her parents because of her falling pregnant. 

By Hariharan Sivaji

“I have been through so much in the last two years, I feel like I've come back from the dead multiple of times” says a 20-year-old Vishny Krishnaraj who looked relieved when speaking to me.

It is no ordinary tale; a South Asian girl has various amounts of pressure being put on them at a very young age. From education to relationship to status and religion, being an Asian girl is not easy and Vishny agrees.“I grew up in an extremely strict household where my parents did not allow me the freedom that I so desperately craved. Maybe it was because of how they were bought up in a household in India where culture and tradition are extremely important, hence their initial expectations of me to be like them”.

 However everything turned upside down when Vishny found out that she was pregnant at the age of 18 from her relationship with her boyfriend.“I was petrified when the doctors told me the news, everything was accidental it was not planned at all”. The biggest obstacle came from within the household to which Vishny’s nightmare came into reality.“I was thrown out of the house by my parents who went absolutely mad. They smashed our family photos, burnt my clothes and threw me out of the house with literally nothing”.“My dad told me that I was not his daughter anymore, it was heartbreaking to hear that from him.”

“The next few days where one of the worst days of my life”,“me and him were kicked out of our houses so we had to live in a hotel”. Both Vishny and her boyfriend relied on their friends for supporting them financially but there was another problem she had to contend with, which was her upcoming A level exams. 

"I had so much going on in my life which when I think back today makes me realise of how much I have evolved as a person".“My A levels exams were only two months away and I could not concentrate on my studies with all what was going on”.

Vishny was determined on seeking approval and forgiveness from her parents but it was harder then she imagined “My mum and dad just did not want me, it was made worse of that the majority of the Tamil population across London knew about this, hence it was deeply embarrassing for them to go outside and interact with people as they were constantly asking about me”.

Fast forward two years and Vishny still has been disregarded by her mum and dad, but she now lives in her boyfriend’s parents’ house after they forgave the couple. She also has a daughter and is currently in second year at university. “Obviously from the situation I was in 2016 there has been an improvement from my personal and academic life”. “Although balancing my studies and looking after my daughter was hugely challenging at first, I have now got used to the responsibility of being a mum". But Vishny's ultmate dream is for her parents to forgive her and the whole family to be back together as one.